Make a Story: If You Give A Politician A Cookie

[Strong Vader]

In this, you add a sentence on to the last person's sentence, like pages in the storybook "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie". Do not mention names of real politicians. This is to make fun of politicians and the rat race in general.

Example:
-If you give a mouse a cookie, he'll want some milk to go along with it.
-If you give a mouse some milk, he'll want to wipe off his milk mustache.
-If you give a mouse a napkin in front of a mirror, he'll notice his bangs are too long.
etc, etc.

For reals:
If you give a politician a cookie, he'll want to subsidize "cookie farmers".

[Sam Fissure]

Bumpness!

If he subsidizes cookie farmers, he'll have to shut down the internet.

[Uzi-Bazooka]

If he shuts down the internet, he's not getting re-elected, that's for sure.

[Strong Vader]

If he's getting reelected he'll need a committee.

[Uzi-Bazooka]

If he needs a committee, he'll have to find people who actually can stand to be near him.

[Kinda Long Hair]

If he needs people who can stand to be near him, he'll need to go out-of-country

[Uzi-Bazooka]

If he needs to go out-of-country, he'll be forced to make a speech to "those dayng foreigners."

[Kinda Long Hair]

if he has to make a speech to those dang foreigners, he'll end up apologizing for the Iraq war and such

[Uzi-Bazooka]

If he has to apologize for the Iraq war and such, he'll actually be taking a stand on an issue for the first time in his life.

[Kinda Long Hair]

if he actually takes a stand on an issue, he will upset some of the voters

[Strong Vader]

If he upsets some of the voters he'll have to buy a conversion van

[Uzi-Bazooka]

If he buys a conversion van he'll have to paint a pithy slogan on it.

[Strong Vader]

If he paints a pithy slogan on it he'll need to bribe paint manufacturers to let him get some paint.

[Sam Fissure]

If he bribes people for paint, it will end up on Fox News.

[Strong Vader]

If he ends up on Fox News it'll probably be pretty cool. I mean, Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity! But if he does end up on Fox News he'll get lambasted by Fox News and protected by the other networks. I mean, he did bribe people

[Sam Fissure]

If he's protected by the other networks, Fox News will """"""lambast"""""" them.

[Uzi-Bazooka]

If Fox News lambasts the other networks, then the politician will have to disavow any knowledge of Fox News' activities (which would you want publicity on-one network or several?)

[Strong Vader]

If all this lambastment goes on the politician will probably just steal some curly fries from the Jack in the Box next door to the Capitol. MMM, curly fries.

[Uzi-Bazooka]

If the politician steals curly fries, he will probably end up going to jail.

[Kinda Long Hair]

If he goes to jail, he will get shanked in the yard a lot

[Sam Fissure]

If he gets shanked in the yard, he will flee to the laundry room, unsuspectingly entering "Shiv City"

[Strong Vader]

If he unsuspectingly enters Shiv City he'll find it pretty nice, kind of a fixer-upper. Then he will get hit on the back of the head with a shovel.

[Sam Fissure]

If he gets KO'd, he'll probably wake up in the bathroom with a shaved head taped to the toilet.

[Kinda Long Hair]

if that happenes, he'll pay his million dollar bond and flee to Brazil

[Uzi-Bazooka]

If he flees to Brazil, he may gain a better understanding of the people and the situation there. Pfft! Like that could ever happen! Lemme try again.

If he flees to Brazil, he'll be forced to learn a new sport called "sock-kur."

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