Re: Poker Night at the Inventory

[The Wheelchair]

Yeah, it's poker. And it's called Poker Night at the Inventory. And more details can be found at the Telltale blog. Still, with that 25% discount that it comes with, I could pretty much get it free with the new Sam & Max poster set, so I'll consider it. Also, here's some awesome official art that was found at Kotaku and posted on the Telltale forums:

Spoiler:

[Kinda Long Hair]

win.

This will be bought by me asap. I just hope it's Texas Hold 'Em.

[Uzi-Bazooka]

Yeah, I saw that.
First of all, I have to say that, of all of the fan-guessed names suggested for this game, the ACTUAL name is the worst. I mean, really? "Poker Night at the Inventory"? What, is it going to start with Strong Bad putting everyone into his inventory (since Max got his surgically removed in the last game)? And, if so, why does his inventory look like an amber-lit club with soft drink vending machines?
Second of all, there's a pretty sweet article on this game over at the Homestar Runner Wiki. It even has new screenshots! That's how I know about the whole amber-lit-club nonsense.
Third of all, I think I am going to have to get this game. I was stressing over it pretty seriously for the reasons above (no knowledge of Poker VS my love of Telltale and Sam & Max. But that price is ridiculous. I mean, I make more than that in a week. So, I think I'll probably get it. Because, should it suck, or should I hate it, I won't have wasted a ton of money on it.
Fourth of all: that Promo art is pure awesome.
Fifth of all: PURE awesome.

[Sam Fissure]

I just hope it's Texas Hold 'Em.

There's no other way!

[The Wheelchair]

Yeah, I saw that.
First of all, I have to say that, of all of the fan-guessed names suggested for this game, the ACTUAL name is the worst. I mean, really? "Poker Night at the Inventory"? What, is it going to start with Strong Bad putting everyone into his inventory (since Max got his surgically removed in the last game)? And, if so, why does his inventory look like an amber-lit club with soft drink vending machines?

Wait, when did Max have surgery?

Second of all, there's a pretty sweet article on this game over at the Homestar Runner Wiki. It even has new screenshots! That's how I know about the whole amber-lit-club nonsense.

It's pretty weird seeing Max, Strong Bad, and the Heavy together. And Strong Bad has to be standing on his chair. No way is he that tall.

Third of all, I think I am going to have to get this game. I was stressing over it pretty seriously for the reasons above (no knowledge of Poker VS my love of Telltale and Sam & Max. But that price is ridiculous. I mean, I make more than that in a week. So, I think I'll probably get it. Because, should it suck, or should I hate it, I won't have wasted a ton of money on it.

That's why I'm planning on buying it. Like I said, it'll actually save me 4 cents on the Sam & Max poster set with that 25% off.

Fourth of all: that Promo art is pure awesome.
Fifth of all: PURE awesome.

I love how happy Max is at the sight of the Heavy's gun.

And if that last sentence sounded wrong to you: Get your head out of the gutter, man!

[Uzi-Bazooka]

1. Max hasn't ever had surgery (except for in one of the comics...and that doesn't exactly count. But that's too complicated to get into right now.) I was referring to the fact that Season 3 has no Inventory. It was also kind of a reference to that part in the teaser trailer ("That's none of your !@#$ business, computer!")

2. He might be that tall. Think about it. He's never been outside the world of Free Country, USA (except as a puppet.) Maybe we only think he's short compared to all the characters there, who may be giants in the real world. OR maybe he is just standing on his chair.

3. Saving money! Yaaay!

4. I may be walking on air, but my head's still in the gutter.

[The Wheelchair]

1. Max hasn't ever had surgery (except for in one of the comics...and that doesn't exactly count. But that's too complicated to get into right now.) I was referring to the fact that Season 3 has no Inventory. It was also kind of a reference to that part in the teaser trailer ("That's none of your !@#$ business, computer!")

Season 3 has no inventory? Uhh, I think you're a little confused. It's just got less emphasis on inventory. It's not completely gone, though.

2. He might be that tall. Think about it. He's never been outside the world of Free Country, USA (except as a puppet.) Maybe we only think he's short compared to all the characters there, who may be giants in the real world. OR maybe he is just standing on his chair.

Look at that original teaser trailer again. He's definitely standing on his chair.

[These are my saturdays]

Is the sequel going to be a game about The Scout, Homestar, Gabe, and Sam playing pool?

[Uzi-Bazooka]

CROSS-OVER JOKES!


"Dear Max-how do you shoot with boxing gloves on?"


"Hey, this is fun!"
"What did I tell you, Cheat? I've been highway surfing since I was a little boy!"

[Uzi-Bazooka]

Oh, and hey! Tons more promo artwork here: http://vip.telltalegames.com/files/pokernight/screens090210/

Including my favorite:


Though I also like Max's. And the Heavy's, come to think of it.

[The Wheelchair]

Is the sequel going to be a game about The Scout, Homestar, Gabe, and Sam playing pool?

YESSSSSSS.

[Strong Vader]

Spoiler:

[Uzi-Bazooka]

Ha!

Ironically, the Midnight Crew started OUT commercial, since Mayonaka just paid AH to put them in. So, maybe the series went downhill as they went MORE commercial.

EDIT: Now I really want to play a Midnight Crew Poker game. Or a Felt Billiards game.

Possible names:
"Poker Night: at the Hideout"
"Poker Night: Trapped in the Underground Vault. Bluh Bluh."
"Poker with your friends...cause **** just got real."

[These are my saturdays]

Felt billiards would be such a clusterf***

YOU HIT THE 10 BALL AND ARE TRANSPORTED TWENTY MINUTES FURTHER INTO THE GAME

YOU HIT THE 2 BALL WITH THE 7 BALL AND THE 2 BALL IS REMOVED FROM THE GAME PERMANENTLY

12 BALLS. 12 BALLS EVERYWHERE

YOU POCKET THE 8-BALL AND TH-

[Uzi-Bazooka]

True. And, not only would you have to input a crapload of commands, but there's no guarantee that they'll be followed.

LORD ENGLISH: JAB INTO DOC SCRATCH (Assuming he's the billiard stick).

DOC SCRATCH: SMACK EGGS INTO THE POCKET

You cannot control Lord English. You cannot control Doc Scratch. Lord English may not even exist.

UGH. EGGS: WALK INTO THE POCKET.

Which Eggs are you talking to?

UM...EGG NUMBER SEVENTY-THREE: WALK INTO THE POCKET

Eggs refuses and is secretly rooting for the other team.

HOLY FREAKING CRAP!

Do not understand command "Holy."

HEARTS BOXCARS: CROSSOVER INTO THIS CROSSOVER AND HIT EGGS WITH A CROSS OVER THE HEAD.

Eggs goes into the pocket.

HOORAY!

The other team has already won, though, so it doesn't matter one teensy bit what you do. They managed to quintriple their points by pocketing ALL OF THE BISCUIT CLONES. ALL OF THEM.

AWWW...

PLAYER: SWEAR PROFUSELY

You cannot swear profusely as the swears in this game have been bleeped out so that we could bring in a "family-friendly" character: Bob the Diver.

HOLY FREAKING CRAP!

Do not understand command "Holy."

[These are my saturdays]

You are BOB THE DIVER, the NOT SO ILLUSTRIOUS MOBSTER.

Spoiler:

[Uzi-Bazooka]

I should've said Billy the Bell-hop Diver but I forgot to look up the exact name.

Also: BOB, SMACK DOC SCRATCH OVER THE HEAD WITH YOUR AIR TANK.

[Uzi-Bazooka]

Okay, so a fan site ( http://www.pokernightattheinventory.com/ ) was made for Poker Night at the Inventory. I thought it might be interesting. But then, I started reading what it said.
Here are a few of my favorite excerpts:

Strong Bad – as the major characters of the Home star Runner series, strong bad do have something to proof on the poker table. After being described as “a egotist, manipulator, and liar” and “one of the coolest characters on the Internet” ant the same time, he will bring this attitude to the poker table to win the pot. Strong Bad is known from the famous Home star Runner series of games, will use his bad character and lies to win the pot. He is cool, can he stay cool with pair of aces ?

Well, I think SOMEONE on this site is doing SOMETHING with Pot, that's for sure. And we need to change the name of our forum to "The Next Generation of Home star Runner series of forums."

Maybe its a bunny, maybe he looks like clueless when it comes to Poker table, but don’t miss judge Max, he will play hard to take the Poker pot. ( Ask Sam ) Max will bring on his character and special language to the game and this is a highly promise volume of fun on the table. Max the Rabbit is here to play poker.

I want my epitaph to read "He was a highly promise volume of fun." Just Ask Sam!

After his unforgettable performance on Team Fortress 2, the heavy is here to play poker. Maybe it’s the most interesting character on the table. The first person shooter heavy gunner will play against the other poker players, not with guns, but with poker gun.

I changed my mind. I want my epitaph to read "He was a first person shooter heavy gunner." And I want to be buried, not with my guns, but with poker gun.

And lastly, Tycho's description, which is so long it's gonna have to have its own spoiler.

Spoiler:

And finally, the only way this website could be worse is if it was full of ads...
...for the WRONG GAME.
Yes, despite being a "fans site for the game," the large ad in their sidebar is for THIS GAME: http://www.betus.com/promo/poker/
This game, Bet Us Poker, is not endorsed by Telltale, made by Telltale, or in any way, shape or form related to Telltale. Nor is it related to any of the characters from the game. It is in fact, COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY WRONG.

In short, rather than achieving its goal of "making this game to something special", this website made me reconsider buying it in the first place. It's times like this that make me feel a lot better about MMM. I mean, heck, at least he can spell the word "at" without adding an extra letter.

[These are my saturdays]

I know for a fact that the heavy is not the most poker face character I will play against.

[arachnidsGrip]

I wonder if Strong 8ad can stay cool with a pair of aces.

[These are my saturdays]

The single player will enjoy both great poker games, well designed and highly performed and fun with his buddies from the known games.

I could write a doctoral thesis on all the things wrong with this sentence.

[arachnidsGrip]

I wonder what the unknown games are. As opposed to the "known games" of which this weirdo 8la8s a8out.

[These are my saturdays]

They are secret games. The games are Yoshi's Cookie, Ghostbusters, Indiana Jones, AVP, and Doom.

Doomguy, (the comic one,) Peter Venkman, (BILL F***ING MURRAY,) Indiana Jones, a ravenous xenomorph, (SILLY XENO, CARD ARE FOR PLAYING NOT FOR IMPALING) and Yoshi.

Oh dear jesus I want to play this.

DOOMGUY: Your face tells me of your strength in this tabletop battlefield, BUT I SEE YOUR TRUE FACE MONSTER AND IT IS THE FACE OF A LOSING LOSER WHO LOSES.

PETER: Whoa now calm down, you don't want to burst a blood vessel, that is assuming there are any left.

XENOMORPH: HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

YOSHI: * Unintelligibly purring sounds*

INDIE: This is without a doubt the worst game of poker I've ever played. And I've played with Nazis firing guns at me.

DOOMGUY: You are just sore because I have stolen all of your chips. They are mine now because I am the baddest f***ing poker player I've ever seen. I am bursting with the skill. I am all one big poker face. To be or not to be? Not to be because existence means a guaranteed a**kicking by me and then a poker game thrashing to demoralize you. I am the ALPHAOMEGA ULTIMATE MAN ON EARTH. You think you have cards to play BUT THEN YOU DON'T. YOU NEVER DID. I'm as bad as the current climate change. DEAR MERCIFUL LORD CONTAINED BY THE GATES. Have you seen the things this has been doing? What is the point in life I can never brush my hand slowly down the back of a polar bear, or eat tropical bananas in Hawaii. Why can't we find an alternative fuel source. If we-

PETER: Dooms, we are playing poker. The environmental crisis response team is meeting next door. It isn't a bad deal they had a free food stand and then we'd be a little less strained by your preaches. Everyone wins. Also, if you can, sneak some of those stuffed grape leaves back over here those dirty hippies won't be able to stuff them all down. You doing them a favor.

XENOMORPH: HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

*the xenomorph plunges it's inner mouth into Yoshi's eye socket. Doomguy swears on the egyptian tomb of mother teresa to exterminate the foul, murderous beast. Indiana buries his head into his hat. Peter goes off to rob the hippies of their hippy food.*

[arachnidsGrip]

Now that is some highly performed and fun with 8uddies!!!!!!!!

[These are my saturdays]

Well, it at least brought on my character and special language.

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