Hremail 4237: The forgotten script!

by The Wheelchair Fri Sep 18, 2009 12:44 pm

I was looking back at the Labor day Hremail 4237 prank today and thought.. ya know, wouldn't it be funny if someone actually wrote a script for the Hremail based on the awesome poll choices in the thread for it? Well, I've decided to go ahead and do just that!

{Opens to a silhouette of Homestar Runner sitting at a table with a coffee mug, which can be seen labeled "H

ppy Days". The camera is zooming in on him.}

SHADOW HOMESTAR: Time for the winner of the Emailest Man in the World Contest... Homestar Runner!

{Homestar Runner's Theme Song plays as the scene lights up.}

HOMESTAR: Thanks again Shadowm'n. Today is a very special day for all you Hremailers.. it's guest host day! {Homestar Runner's Theme Song plays again} With a guest host! {The Theme song plays yet again} Named Strong Sad!

{The audience groans as the theme song plays yet another time. Zoom out to show Strong Sad standing next to the desk. Homestar turns to him}

HOMESTAR: Hey Strong Sad, welcome to the show! Your hippo feet are looking mighty fine today!

STRONG SAD: For the last time, they're soolnds!

HOMESTAR: Right right, hippo soolnds. So anyway, today's letter come from a loyal fan named- {pulls out a sheet of paper and squints} Doris from Kansas.

Dear Homestar,
I have a small rip in my shirt that I need to fix, but I'm absolutely hopeless with a sewing machine. Please help!
Please write back,
Doris, Kansas

HOMESTAR: Well you asked the right person, Dorian! I happen to be a specialist when it comes to sewing!

{cut to a room with pinkish-purple walls and an old fashion sewing machine. Homestar and Strong Sad are standing in front of the machine}

STRONG SAD: Since when do you have a sewing machine, Homestar?

HOMESTAR: You never knew about my Sewey 4000? I've had him since the summer of '98! I still remember that faithful day when I found him in the sewer...

{fade to the Bathroom of the Brothers Strong. Strong Bad and The Cheat and looking down into the toilet.}

STRONG BAD: You found my pocket watch yet, Homestar?

HOMESTAR: {echoing slightly from inside the toilet} No, but I did find this cool Gameboy with a knitting needle attached!

{fade back to the Sewing Room}

HOMESTAR: Aww, the memories. So Dora, the parts of the sewing machine are known for working together in perfect harmony. Sort of like sour apples and peach trees! Strong Sad, care to explain to our friend the many parts of this graceful giant?

STRONG SAD: Oh sure. First we have the needle, which-

HOMESTAR: Alright Strong Sad that's enough. It's now time to test the ol' Sewey on one of my old shirts. {Homestar holds up his old duck shirt, which has a green cloud surrounding it}

STRONG SAD: Homestar, how long has it been since you washed that thing? That thing smells like month old pancakes!

HOMESTAR: Your right, it does probably smell like pancakes. Now, lets get a-sewing! Just turn her on and-

{cut to a SCENE MISSING message similar to the one in Parsnips A-Plenty}

{cut back to the Hremail Room. A heavily bandaged Homestar is sitting at the desk. Standing next to him is Strong Sad}

HOMESTAR: {weakly} So there you go, Doreaxgaurd, how not to use a sewing machine. Until next time everyone.. an apple a day keeps the ER surgeon away.

{fade to black}

EASTER EGGS:
Click on the top right corner of the screen at the end to see an extra scene in the Sewing Room.
{The Poopsmith walks in and sees the duck shirt on the floor. He sniffs then cringes and faints}