Questions Over the Bible

[Kinda Long Hair]

Okay, you got questions about stuff in the Bible, or like... God? Ask them here! Anyone can answere these questions. Furthermore be bold! I leave you with the words of Paul.

I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who lives... Romans 1:16

Am I controvesial enough for you, yet?

[MichaelXX2]

Cool! SV is a Christian! There's nothing in the Bible that really confuses me, though.

[Sgt. Beadsmaster]

Ok, so, a couple of days ago I had this thought about 2012 being the end of the world and all, it made me sad and confused. Then I thought, man, I don't want to die at that time, and so then I was thinking if I die than I will "?". And so I was all thinking about what all the possibilities are, and how bad it could be. So I was thinking and asking these questions: is me being in some religion the only way to ease my mind? Should I just forget about it? Is there some way to prove that the bible isn't correct or any other way to make me feel good about what I'm doing right now, which is not being christian. Should I just settle with something like karma? Please answer me.

[silent wulf]

One thing that will help is to know that the world isn't ending in 2012, it's a big load of bullcrap. To understand it better watch "the "Penn and teller Bulls**t: apocolypse" video.

[Strong Vader]

One thing that will help is to know that the world isn't ending in 2012, it's a big load of bullcrap. To understand it better watch "the "Penn and teller Bulls**t: apocolypse" video.

Well, we don't know. The end will "come like a thief", remember? There is an equal chance of the world ending in 2012 as there is that it will end in 3012.

[Kinda Long Hair]

Ok, so, a couple of days ago I had this thought about 2012 being the end of the world and all, it made me sad and confused.

Okay, the end of the world is the rapture. When Christ comes back to Earth and brings all his followers up too heaven. After that, God will pour out his wrath on the world with plauges and such. No one knows when it will come. (read Revalations for more info)

Then I thought, man, I don't want to die at that time, and so then I was thinking if I die than I will "?". And so I was all thinking about what all the possibilities are, and how bad it could be. So I was thinking and asking these questions: is me being in some religion the only way to ease my mind? Should I just forget about it? Is there some way to prove that the bible isn't correct or any other way to make me feel good about what I'm doing right now, which is not being christian. Should I just settle with something like karma? Please answer me.

Okay, time for my AP English, deep inner meaning to come to the fore-front.

First off: When the rapture happens, if you're still living at the time, you wont die. If you are a Christian, than you get raptured. If not: you remain on Earth for the seven years (which would suck, you try enjoying life when all the water turns to blood)

Second Off: I guess, If you are a Christian, it kinda eases your mind about death. It doesnt ease everything, but thoughts about death and the rapture (at least for me) are eased.

If this does not answer your question, please say so.

[Sgt. Beadsmaster]

Well, I mean, I guess it does, but then again, now I feel like I need some religion, like christianity or something. But this whole thing is gonna keep coming back to me, I'll try to forget about all of that death stuff, but I don't know if I can. Mr. Disket (I know him in person, we're pretty good friends and go to school together.) was saying how theres no way to be safe with your religion, and other things, which were valid reasons not to believe in god, but I could pretty much always contradict them, because there's all the stuff of how it's your FAITH so then if you have enough faith in it it can always make sense, just meaning that you could say something like, he's testing us or whatever, which works fine, I guess.

[These are my saturdays]

You can't be sure with atheism either, so neutrality is the best course of action.
Ignore religion and enjoy life!
To: Sgt. Beadsmaster

[Strong Vader]

Solomon wrestled with that philosophical position in Ecclesiastes, and found it to be empty and without meaning.

[Kinda Long Hair]

You can't be sure with atheism either, so neutrality is the best course of action.
Ignore religion and enjoy life!
To: Sgt. Beadsmaster

Here's what i think: atheism doesn't have anything after death. Your just... dead. All the religions have, like... "afterlife", and "heaven and (in an attempt not to break form rules) heck"

Sos the way I see it, it'd be safer in a religion. Lets say that there is no God, and your Christian. Nothing happens, you just die! But lets say there is a God, and you are in the religion that follows that God... you won't be dead. You'll be in heaven.

I'll do more in depth after school

[MichaelXX2]

Seriously you guys, capitalize these things.

[These are my saturdays]

You can't be sure with atheism either, so neutrality is the best course of action.
Ignore religion and enjoy life!
To: Sgt. Beadsmaster

Here's what i think: atheism doesn't have anything after death. Your just... dead. All the religions have, like... "afterlife", and "heaven and (in an attempt not to break form rules) heck"

Sos the way I see it, it'd be safer in a religion. Lets say that there is no God, and your Christian. Nothing happens, you just die! But lets say there is a God, and you are in the religion that follows that God... you won't be dead. You'll be in heaven.

I'll do more in depth after school

Yeah, but believing and being right are separate things. It really doesn't matter, afterlife or not, you're dead, you can't stop constant debating and tell everyone by sneaking out Death's door when he's not looking.

[Sgt. Beadsmaster]

But I need some way to ultimately prove god and the bible wrong, it seems like one of the only ways that I could give up on this whole mucking about in religion thing, to prove that one of them is ultimately wrong or right, no offense sv. I just fear that when I die I'll be having a thought of being scared over if when I die I'll go to heck, but I don't want to, and I don't want to consider the thought that I will. It's just freaky thinking about it. ugh...

[silent wulf]

Go here The bible is BS (Warning: swears)

[Kinda Long Hair]

I know hardly any of you belive that the Bible is true, but just read this and think about it.

"This is what the Lord says to his anointed,
to Cyrus, whose right hand I take hold of
to subdue nations before him
and to strip kings of their armor,
to open doors before him
so that gates will not be shut:
I will go before you
and will level the mountains;
I will break down gates of bronze
and cut through bars of iron.
I will give you the treasures of darkness,
riches stored in secret places,
so that you may know that I am Lord,
the God of Israel, who summons you by name.
For the sake of Jacob my servant,
of Israel my chosen,
I summon you by name
and bestow on you a title of honor,
though you do not acknowledge me.
I am the Lord, and there is no other;
apart from me there is no God.
I will strengthen you, though you have not acknowledged me...
Isaiah 45:1 - 45:6

[Strong Vader]

Read Ecclesiastes. It's the most philosophical books of the Bible which basically concludes to this:

-"Meaningless, meaningless, everything is meaningless" says the Teacher, the author of the book, probably Solomon
-Wealth is meaningless,
-Wisdom is meaningless,
-Enjoyment is meaningless,
-Because "ashes to ashes", "dust to dust".
-Which argues strongly for a God-centric life.
-Without God's influence, life is absurd, meaningless, and "nasty, brutish , and short" (that quotation was from the English philosopher Hobbes).

[Uzi-Bazooka]

First of all, let me introduce where I come from. It may shock and horrify you guys to know that I'm not a forty-year old stomping around in big ol' boots and a cape, plotting world domination and living on this forum. I am in fact, Jewish.
Now I know what Movie Magic Man is thinking. And let me just tell you hencetoforthwith that I am a Messianic Jew. Okay? That means that I DO, IN FACT, BELIEVE IN JESUS AS OUR MESSIAH (Hebrew for "savior"). So I don't need you guys to try to save me. We clear? Now gimme five.

In other, slightly unrelated news, my Bar Mitzvah is on November 14th, so wish me luck, fellow Homestar fans!

Anyways, that's way I don't have a lot of truck with all this stuff about death and the rapture. See, we Jews do believe in the end of the world, the "big kablooie", as our Rabbi calls it. However, we believe in some other important things:
1. We have no idea when it's going to happen.
2. It hasn't happened yet.
3. Since we don't know when it's going to happen, let's not prepare for it. Humans are built for Earth, so we should try to live our life as well as we can on Earth. If we are holy and righteous, then whenever the kablooie comes, we will be rewarded.
Lemme quote a little Matthew here.

"Do not think that I came to destroy the law or the prophets. I did not come to destroy but to fulfill. For assuredly, I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, one jot or one tittle will by no means pass from the law till all is fulfilled. Whoever therefore breaks one of the least of these commandments, and teaches men so, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever does and teaches them, he shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 5:17-19)

So, it says to obey (i.e, live your life well on Earth), and then you will be rewarded.
I don't know if I helped you guys or harmed, but that's my take on things.

[These are my saturdays]

In other, slightly unrelated news, my Bar Mitzvah is on November 14th, so wish me luck, fellow Homestar fans!

Let me be the first to say, L'Chaim.

[Strong Vader]

Mazel tov!

Wait...oh, never mind. There are probably a billion variations on every religion around the world. Messianic Judaism...I did not know that existed. I am enlightened.

[Uzi-Bazooka]

No, you can say Mazel Tov, that's fine. The only difference between Messianic Jews and all the others (except for Reform Jews) is that we believe in Jesus. We still speak Hebrew, say Mazel Tov, and the rest.
The Reform Jews are basically Christians who (barely) pretend not to be. It's kind of scary.

[Strong Vader]

What I meant was-er-I was going to pass comment in my post. Well, I have some questions:

-Do you use the Torah or the Bible (both Old and New testaments, or a different combination, perhaps)?
-What kinda things do you have to know/understand/accomplish in your Bar Mitzvah?
-How do you combine aspects of Judaism and Christianity, ie, what holidays, customs, etc, such as Passover, Christmas...?

[Uzi-Bazooka]

Phew! What a lot of questions! Now I know how Strong Bad must feel.
Anyways, here are your lotta answers for your lotta questions.
1. First of all, the Torah is the first five books of Moses. I.e., it is PART of the Bible. So asking if we use the Torah or the Bible is kind of a silly question. Second of all, we do use the whole entire Bible, New Testament and Old Testament (although we call them "B'rit Chadasha", for the New, and the "Tanakh", for the Old.) In the synagogue, we usually read our weekly Torah portion out of the big, beautiful Torah scroll, then we read something out of the Tanakh, then we conclude with a B'rit Chadasha portion.
Still with me, guys? It's confusing, I know.

2. The traditions and responsibilities of the Bar Mitzvah? That could take solid days of typing, and this is just an off-topic discussion on a completely unrelated forum. So, I'll stick with the basics.
The ceremony of the Bar Mitzvah (or "Bat Mitzvah", for girls) involves going up to the Torah and chanting the week's portion. In Hebrew. And something about the Torah scroll: the Hebrew in it has no vowels. Basically, you have to memorize it.
The public, non-ceremonial aspect of the Bar Mitzvah is that, afterwords, you have to start taking a bigger role in the community. You are now reckoned as an adult, and have all of the responsibilities of such (i.e., carrying the Torah scroll, being called to the Torah, a lot of complicated Jewish stuff that deserves its own forum, etc.)
The private, non-ceremonial aspect is that now you are closer to God, and you have a bigger responsibility with him on your own time. For example, if a child dies before his/her Bar/Bat Mitzvah, their sins are reckoned as being their father's fault. Afterwords, it's the son's or daughter's fault.

3. Okay, let's start with the last part of your question. We celebrate all of the Jewish holidays and almost none of the Christian ones. The only Christian one we kind of celebrate is Easter. Except that we give it a completely different name in Hebrew (which has spaced my mind) and we spend the day reading from our Bibles, and (this is important): NOT EATING ANY CHOCOLATE, OR DOING ANYTHING WITH RABBITS. So, basically no Christian holidays. Sorry.
Nor do we really practice any of the Christian traditions. The Messianic Jews get a lot of crap because the Jews think we're Christians in disguise (and, to be fair, the Christians think we're Jews in disguise.) These Jews are wrong. The only remotely "Christian" thing we do is to believe in Jesus learn about Him, and love Him. We don't even celebrate Christmas.

Well, I hope that more than adequately answered your questions. Now, my fingers are tired. I'm gonna go lie down.

[Christhulhu]

Ignore religion and enjoy life!
To: Sgt. Beadsmaster

There really is no way to know that you're religion is the right one. What if you lead a good, moral life, whilst worshipping the god that you have complete faith in, and then Thor and Odin meet you after death and say "Sorry, Mate, should have aimed for Asgard," and then swiftly cart you off to the underworld?
In summary, whatever religion you choose is one in a billion, with the same chance of heaven as any other one. If whatever incarnation of god that's really there is so intent on sending you to heck, then you should rebel, protest this patriarch's practices. You may go to... Geez, are you sure you can't say the word on the forum... Heck, but so will everybody else.
That wasn't really a summary.
Sorry if I offended anyone.

[Uzi-Bazooka]

That's why there's a little something you and the Diskette don't seem to understand. I call it....FAITH!
It means that you BELIEVE IN YOUR RELIGION NO MATTER WHAT!

Sorry if I offended anyone.

[Strong Vader]

A) One chance in a billion is better than no chance in a billion
B) "Hell" is all right in a religious context. Didn't we put that? Maybe? No?
C) Don't call me Shirley.

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