Re: The SBEmail Game

[Strong Vader]

awesome homsar

STRONG BAD: {playing a video game} Oh yeah! Take that, Red Baron, and that! And that! And...aww...{a Game Over screen appears} I guess...that...I should answer...an e-mail.

Dear Strong Bad,
I think Homsar is awesome.
Your pal,
Nick A, England

Ok, now that I know that, what do I do? {geddup noise} I guess I'll just go tell him. {muttering} Weird. Someone actually thinking Homsar is awesome and not e-mailing me that I'M awesome...

{cut to the Field. Homsar is floating.}

STRONG BAD: HEY! Mini-Homestar! Some Brit named Nick (hey, that almost rhymes) thinks you're awesome!

HOMSAR: DaAaAaAaAaaah! I could eat a dozen pillow television fireplace logs!

STRONG BAD: No, you idiot! Some guy thinks you're awesome! Which is weird, but...

HOMSAR: I'm a treadmill video game from the Seventies!

{cut to the Computer Room}

STRONG BAD: So, Nickelodeon, I told Homsar that you think he's awesome. Though I can't tell if he understood or not. Well, if you think that he's so awesome, maybe you can understand him. I'ma gonna play some more Snoopy v. Red Baron.

{The Digital Paper comes up.}

Click on "maybe you can understand him" to hear:

HOMSAR: {in a deep voice, like in Strong Badia the Free} Hello, Strong Bad. It's nice to see that someone likes-{hacking and coughing is heard}-{regular voice} DaAaAaAaAaAah! I had a spit bubble in my throat, Jim Bob!

Dear Strong Bad,
What kind of computers do everyone else have? I mean, we know that you have the awesome Compe and Homestar has that weird talking microfiche reader. Do the others have computers? How crappy are they?
Your buddy,
Artemis Fowl
PS: Would you like to join forces? I stand for awesome, and I believe I am the second-most brilliant criminal mind of our time (after you, of course)

[Kinda Long Hair]

other computers

Dear Strong Bad,
What kind of computers do everyone else have? I mean, we know that you have the awesome Compe and Homestar has that weird talking microfiche reader. Do the others have computers? How crappy are they?
Your buddy,
Artemis Fowl
PS: Would you like to join forces? I stand for awesome, and I believe I am the second-most brilliant criminal mind of our time (after you, of course)

SB: Um.... Sure. Ever since Palpatine decided to hate me, I've needed some other lackey to play tennins with. {clears screen} Anyway, I belive that your question was about everyones computers. Well it just happens that I was just leaving to go to the Strong Badia 3rd Annual Computer Show right now! (he leaves)

Cut to Strong Badia. You can see several tables set up. On one, partialy obscured, you can see the KOT with the Snacky 186. SB Walks in to a table with the Compé on it.

The Announcer: And now, ladies and gentelmen. This years judge... A man of few words, but more importantly, a man of no computer. Please welcome... The poopsmith.

KOT: Boo

cut to a table with Marzipan and the Happy 8600. The poopsmith walks up.

Marzi: Well, my computer used to be Homestar's, but he got mountain dew, or something, all over it. I took it in and cleaned it up, and it works just fine for me!

Poopsmith: Holds up a sign that says "features?"

Marzi: Well, everytime I use it's battery. 50 acres of rainforest are saved, and whenever I press enter, people in Africa get electricity.

Poopsmith: ... (walks away)

cut to the next table. Bub's is there with one of the Datum center computers.

Bubs: Well, I stole... er...I mean I BORROWED it from my place of employment.

Poopsmith: (hold up sign) So it's not yours?

Bubs: Nope!

Poopsmith:...(hold up sign) Disqualified. {walks off}

Bubs: Watch your mouth, man!

cut to the next table. Coach Z is there with a three-ring binder that reads: "Real laptop coputer and NOT a binder" The poopsmith just keeps on walking.

Coach Z: Hey, you forgat to look at my laptop computer der.

cut to the next table. Pom Pom is sitting there with what appears to be one of the new iMacs, but in place of the apple logo is a Tandy Logo.

: (subtitled) Well, I was bored one day so I decided to head up to the Tandy Store and see what they had. Well, this {indicates to laptop} caught my eye and next thing you know I had bought"

:{Holds up a sign that says "Features?"}

Pom Pom: ({bubbles}presses a button on the computer)

zoom over to the next table where the cheat is sitting with the Monosodium Dreams. The cheat explodes. zoom back to Pom Pom's table.

cut to SB's table.

SB: Woah, looks like I goot some compotition!

: (offscreen) I know! Can you belive it!

zoom out to show SS's table. He has Tangerine Dreams.

SB: You have a computer?

SS: Yeah, I've had it for about...

SB: (interupting) not interested.

cut back to Pom Pom's table

Poopsmith: (holds up a sign) Woah, awesome!

cut to the cheats table. TC shakes off the blck from the explosion. The Poopsmithe walks in.

The cheat: (cheat noise)

Poopsmith: (on a sign) Oh, wow...

The cheat: (cheat noises)

Poopsmith: {on a sign.} shocking!

poopsmith walks to the next table which has Strong Mad and his box computer.

SM: I WORK HARD!!!! E-COMMERECE, E-BUSSINESE!!!!!!

The poopsmith walks to the next table.

: Dah.

cut to next table The KOT is sitting there with the snacky 186

: Oh, hey there poopsmith!

Poopsmith: (on a sign) Features?

KOT: HM... Inbox, templates... outbox? Oh, and it makes food!

The poopsmith drops a pile of whatsit on the table and walks away.

cut to the next tabke which has Strong Bad and the compé. The poopsmith walks in.

:This computer is the great! It has about the equal amount of style and awessomnes as me!!!

Poopsmith:...(on sign)okay. (walks to next table)

cut to the next table. Strong Sad with the Tangerine Dream. The poopsmith walks in

SS: This computer is the only thing that keeps me from being depressed.

Poopsmith: (on a sign) Ouch.

cut to the podium like in the olympics with 1st 2nd 3rd. Show all the characters who competed in the contest+ .

Announcer: And now ladies and gentleman. The judge has spoken.

cut to the poopsmith who shrugs.

Announcer: Third place is... The CHEAT!

: (happy cheat noises)

Announcer: In second place is... POM POM!

: (bubbles).

Annoncer: And now (drum roll) the champion of the 3rd annual Strong Badia Computer show is...

close up on strong bad...

Announcer: STRONG SAD! (confettie falls. There is cheering)

close up on strong sad.

SS: I won!?!?! I WON!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cut to the podium. The cheat is on the 3rd place spot. Pom Pom is on the 2nd place spot. SS is on the 1st place spot. cut to SB's table. It is covered in confettie.

SB: (typing) I can't believe strong sad beat me! Oh well. I guess I know who to cheat against next year... Okay, so untill next time. send me all your questions. and I will make fun of your punctuation and spelling... I mean answere tham.


Check back for easter egg. You got ideas for them? PM me.


my sbemail:

Dearest Strongly badest
Why do you think that you think senor cardgage is cool, but everyone else thanks he is creepy?
From:
The gentle staph here at Thorax Corporation LLC,,.

[Strong Vader]

senor cardgage

STRONG BAD: Would you like fries with your e-mail meal, ma'am?

Dearest Strongly badest
Why do you think that you think senor cardgage is cool, but everyone else thanks he is creepy?
From:
The gentle staph here at Thorax Corporation LLC,,.

Wait! I'M the only one who thinks that Senor Cardgage is cool? {geddup noise}

{cut to Strong Sad's Room.}

STRONG BAD: Strong Sad, do you think Senor Cardgage is cool?

STRONG SAD: NO! He's really weird and creepy and-OW!

{Strong Bad punches him in the gut}

{cut to Strong Mad's Room}

STRONG BAD: Graw Mad, do you think that Senor Cardgage us cool?

STRONG MAD: {pause} JIBBLIE JIBBLIE!

STRONG BAD: What about you, The Cheat? Don't YOU think that Senor Cardgage is cool?

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises} {looks frightened, hides behind Strong Mad}

STRONG MAD: DON'T HURT THE CHEAT!

{cut to Bubs' Concession Stand. Strong Bad looks battered and tired}

STRONG BAD: Bubs, don't you think that Senor Cardgage is awesome? Everyone thinks he's really creepy, for some reason.

BUBS: Senor Cardgage? That creepy combover guy who had that Senorial Day sale crap ads against me? That guys sucks! I hate that guy!

STRONG BAD: Aren't you talking about Coach Z, here?

BUBS: Senor Cardgage, Coach Z, what's the difference?

{cut to the Locker Room}

COACH Z: No, I can't say that I think that Senor Cardgage is creepy. I once gave him this moist towel, and-

STRONG BAD: Shut up! Shut up nine times! You're starting to make ME think he's creepy now. I wasn't even talking to you! Homestar!

HOMESTAR: Yeah, Stong Bah?

STRONG BAD: Do you think Senor Cardgage is cool?

HOMESTAR: {pauses} He smells like pea soooooup!

{cut to the Computer Room}

STRONG BAD: Well, Thorax anthrax peoples, for some reason, people don't like Senor Cardgage. That guy, he's just so awesome. {sniffs} NO! I wasn't crying! I have some...onion...cupcakes in the oven. Bye!

{Digital Paper comes up}

Easter Egg:
Click on "he's just so awesome" to see Strong Bad at the Senor Cardgage: Cool, not Creepy Festival

STRONG BAD: Come on, peoples! Senor Cardgage is awesome!

{pan out to see that no one is there. After a few seconds, Senor Cardgage walks by.}

SENOR CARDGAGE: Hello there, Victorimaria. Could you help an old light globe buy a can of peas?

Dear Strong Bad,
What kinds of scams do you do? I mean, we all enjoy it when you punch Strong Sad in the face, or punch Strong Sad in the gut, or stuff like that, but why don't you try doing something like a Ponzi scheme or a pyramid scheme? And after that, set Strong Sad's stuff on fire.
Your reinstated buddy,
Strong Vader

[SBEmail Check-a Dee Ay eN]

idiot filter

Oh who is the guy that <"checks all his emails" is replaced with "clicks the email icon on his desktop">? That's me Strong Baaayaaad.

Dear Strong Bad,
What kinds of scams do you do? I mean, we all enjoy it when you punch Strong Sad in the face, or punch Strong Sad in the gut, or stuff like that, but why don't you try doing something like a Ponzi scheme or a pyramid scheme? And after that, set Strong Sad's stuff on fire.
Your reinstated buddy,
Strong Vader

Well Stong Vad, as much as I'd like to, I've recently been working on making the Compy Compé use a special idiot filter. Not for you, but for *ahem* depressio@strumstarhammer.com and DJmankiewicz@strumstarhammer.com and every time they email me, they get punched in the face by The Not-A-Paper! Check it out. (clicks Command Prompt) Ahh, so classic

run "super_special_idiot_filter.exe"

(cut to a two-screened scree; on one side is in the HRE-mail room, on the other is in the... SSE-mail room }

and Dear Homestar/Strong Sad, this is for emailing me all the time!

{Virtual Paper pops out of Homestar's taped-up and cracked Happy 8600 and punches him in the face, then pan down to Strong Sad's Dumpy 500, and does the same}

So there you has it, Strond Vad.

{Virtual Paper comes up}

(my email below:)

Dear Strong Bad,
How many licks does it take
to get to the tootsie roll
center of a tootsie pop?

Abdi's younger brother,
Jake LaRue
San Diego, CA

[Strong Vader]

tootsie pops

STRONG BAD: In case of an emergency, this e-mail may be used as a flotation device.

Dear Strong Bad,
How many licks does it take
to get to the tootsie roll
center of a tootsie pop?

Abdi's younger brother,
Jake LaRue
San Diego, CA

Well, Jakeman, I've frequently wondered that myself. Let's find out, shall we?

{cut to Strong Mad's room}

STRONG BAD: Hey, brotha Graw Mad.

STRONG MAD: WHAT IS IT?

STRONG BAD: I need you to lick this Tootsie Roll Pop until it's all gone.

STRONG MAD: {chomps on it, and a crunch is heard.} JUST ONE!

{cut to Strong Sad's Room}

STRONG BAD: Hey, Egar Dump-an Poe.

STRONG SAD: What now, Strong Bad?

STRONG BAD: Some guy who's the younger brother of this other guy that e-mailed me earlier wants to know how many licks it takes to get to a Tootsie Roll Pop.

STRONG SAD: Well, we can go on to the Internet and find some study that found it out...

STRONG BAD: Never mind! Just eat this Tootsie Roll Pop!

{Strong Sad licks it, then one eye opens fully, and Strong Sad goes into his hyper-caffeine state}

STRONG SAD: I FEEL BAD! I feel sad! I FEEL GREAT! I don't even eat light globes! I don't even care about football! {wanders off into the distance, with a Tootsie Roll Pop glued to his forehead}

{cut to the King of Town's Grill}

STRONG BAD: Hey, the Cheat. Want this Tootsie Roll Pop?

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: You just gotta let me see you eat it, so I can tell this guy how many licks it takes to get to the middle of it.

{The Cheat bites the Tootsie Roll Pop. His head explodes.}

{cut to the Track.}

STRONG BAD: Hey, Homestar! I need you to eat this Tootsie Roll Pop! It's melonade flavored!

HOMESTAR: Thanks, Strong Bad! I love free candy! {takes a lick} AHHHHHH! IT BURNS!

STRONG BAD: I couldn't resist putting Tabasco on it!

{Strong Bad turns to face Coach Z}

STRONG BAD: Coach Z? Want one?

COACH Z: Sure, Strong Bad. I can't afford getting the money cost variety.

{Coach Z eats one, but rolls around on the ground convulsively}

STRONG BAD: Congratulations, Coach Z. You're the first official eater of a Sour Cream and The Cheat Fur flavored Tootsie Roll Pop.

{cut to Marzipan's house}

STRONG BAD: Marzipan, would you mind being part of my scientific endeavor to see how many licks it takes to get to the center of this Tootsie Soy Pop.

MARZIPAN: Why, thanks, Strong Bad. That's sweet of you. {eats it} This tastes real good, Strong Bad. What's it it? {Strong Bad hands over the bag} Soy, Tofu, GROUND BEEF? {starts chasing Strong Bad}

{cut to the Computer Room. Strong Bad pulls a CD from his forehead}

STRONG BAD: Well, Jakey, I guess the world will never know for sure. I guess I shouldn't have pranked them so much. I mean, I didn't even know Marzipan could throw this hard. Well, goodbye, everybody! I've got to get my tetanus shots from "Dr." Bubs. {Geddup noise}

Dear Strong Bad,
Besides that awesome Gremlin you own, do you have any other sorts of vehicles? Can you fly a plane?
Your buddy,
President Skroob

[Uzi-Bazooka]

vehicles

Strong Bad: (to the tune of Loading Screens) It's just my E-mail, on the new compe', I can't believe this desktop on my new compe'...

Dear Strong Bad,
Besides that awesome Gremlin you own, do you have any other sorts of vehicles? Can you fly a plane?
Your buddy,
President Skroob

Read As: Dear The Same Greeting I always get from these kids, besides that awesome Gremlin you own, do you have any other sorts of vehicles? Can you fly a plane? Your buddy (yeah, you wish) President Sarah Konner Robot, Skroob for short.

Strong Bad: Well, Sarah, I never had a plane. I did once have a boat, but something...unusual...happened to it.
(Cuts to a scene of Strong Bad on a large boat called the "S.S. Ess.")
Strong Bad: Ah, it is truly a fine day at sea. I'm pretty sure you're required to say that once you own a boat. I dunno. Weird sailor tradition.
: Come on in HEEEeeeEEeeere!
(The boat rocks back and forth, causing waves to splash up in the form of letters spelling out the word "jibblie".)
Strong Bad: Woah! Hey, you stupid painting! Come back here and fix up this me-
(The boat tips over, causing Strong Bad to fall into the water.)
: He He He! I just love my job!
(back to the computer screen)
Strong Bad: If I could have any vehicle, though, it would have to be the Cheat Commandos awesome truck that turnsintoaplanethatturnsintoastatueofamoosethatturnsintoatankthatturnsintoacouchthatturnsintoaSPACESHIP!!!
(as SB talks, the screen shows a picture of the aforementioned vehicle above Strong Bad's head, turning into the different shapes as Strong Bad says and types them.)
I've been dreaming about it for my whole life since I found out about it this morning!
(cuts to the breakfast table, where Strong Sad is reading "The Local Newspapes". Strong Bad walks down into the kitchen.)
Strong Bad: Hey.
Strong Sad: Hey.
Strong Bad: what's in the papes?
Strong Sad: Says here there's some kind of a Cheat Commandos awesome truck that turns into a plane that turns into a statue of a moose that turns into a tank that turns into a couch that turns into a spaceship.
Strong Bad: No way!!
Strong Bad (back at the computer:) so, I have it on back order, but it should take, like, weeks and weeks before I get it.
Homestar (walking in with the toy vehicle in its couch form): oh, Strong Bad! Guess what I have!
Strong Bad: No! It can't be true! Not the Cheat Commandos awesome truck that turns into a plane that turns into a statue of a moose that turns into a tank that turns into a couch that turns into a spaceship! Say it isn't so!
Homestar: okay. It isn't so. Anyways, I brought back your gratuitous item. (Homestar drops a large box marked, "The GI, y'all" onto the compe's keyboard. The compe' sighs.)
Strong Bad: Why is the Cheat Commandos awesome truck that turns into a plane that turns into a statue of a moose that turns into a tank that turns into a couch that turns into a spaceship so darn tiny?
Homestar: Well, it's just perfect toy size!
Strong Bad: Wait, are you saying that the Cheat Commandos awesome truck that turns into a plane that turns into a statue of a moose that turns into a tank that turns into a couch that turns into a spaceship is a toy? A figurine? A small plaything?!
Homestar: Pretty much.
Strong Bad: No fair! How did you get it before I did?
Homestar: Well, I just severed my leg in front of the drive thru whale and he gave me a kid's meal! And guess what the toy was?
Strong Bad: The Cheat Commandos awesome truck that turns into a plane that turns into a statue of a moose that turns into a tank that turns into a couch that turns into a spaceship?
Homestar: Absotively wrong! It was none other than the Cheat Commandos awesome truck that turns into a plane that turns into a statue of a moose that turns into a tank that turns into a couch that turns into a spaceship!
Strong Bad: Hey, Homestar. I'll make you a deal: you can keep my gratuitous item, if you'll just hand over the Cheat Commandos awesome truck that turns into a plane that turns into a statue of a moose that turns into a tank that turns into a couch that turns into a spaceship.
Homestar: I don't know, Stro Bro.
Strong Bad: I'll thrown in a worthless thing! (drops a box marked "The W.T., y'all!" onto the GI.)
Homestar: I'll take it! I'll take twelve! (Homestar runs off with the boxes.)
Strong Bad: No, Homestar! A deal means, you GIVE ME THE TRUCK! (sigh). Oh, well. At least I got rid of that worthless thing.
(The virtual paper comes up.)

[Uzi-Bazooka]

Whoops! I forgot to post MY E-mail.

Hello, Strong Bad!
Those online social networking sites like Face Book or My Space or whatever are getting tons of attention. Why don't you make your own? If you charged people to use it, you could probably make like a million dollars!
Sincerely yours truly,
Sergeant V.P. Jamison (Burmingham, North Dakota.)

[Strong Vader]

social networking

Hello, Strong Bad!
Those online social networking sites like Face Book or My Space or whatever are getting tons of attention. Why don't you make your own? If you charged people to use it, you could probably make like a million dollars!
Sincerely yours truly,
Sergeant V.P. Jamison (Burmingham, North Dakota.)

STRONG BAD: Well, Jamie, I tried one of dems once. It didn't turn out too well. {types virtualpizz.biz into the Internet address box} {the website says, "Welcome, user STRONG BAD! There are 1 users online, out of 1 users.} {closes window}

But some of the other peoples around here have social nets. Let's rag on them, shall we? {types cheatsapizzanetwork.net into the Internet address box} {The website is bright and colorful, with a PBTC The Cheat on it. It says, "Welcome, user STRONG BAD. There are 2534578 members online out of 8290184 members."} Let's see how The Cheat is doing. {brings up the page for "DJ Teh Cheat", who has 7893632 friends}. So, at my page {brings up the page for "Strong Bad", who has 2 friends} {quickly closes it} That was nothing! Nothing at all!

So next we have Pom Pom's site. {brings up technochocolate.cool} {It says, "You are not worthy to enter the Technochocolate Site!"}

Forget it! Stupid Pom Pom, not letting me join...

{Virtual Paper comes up}

Dear Strong Bad,
What kind of cool stuff have you invented? I bet you made a lot of cool weapons, accessories, and technology. What do you have at the patent office? Where is your patent office, anyway?
Your friend,
Chuck

[Thy Dungeon Master]

inventions

E-mail launching in T-minus 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

Dear Strong Bad,
What kind of cool stuff have you invented? I bet you made a lot of cool weapons, accessories, and technology. What do you have at the patent office? Where is your patent office, anyway?
Your friend,
Chuck

Well, Chuck, I've invented loads of weapons. Remember that nunchuck-gun from the Dangeresque movies? That was my own! No dumb freakin' prop designer there. Ooh, and this invisible machine that drops a giant weight from the sky... that's invisible.

Heavy lourde falls, SB quickly jumps out of the way

Woah, I didn't even need to turn it on! It demonstrated itself. (high pitched)AWESOME!

SB: I guess I should go make millions by selling this on the black market. (Runs off)

Compé: Ha, ha, ha, ha... (displays ONE dé)
*preeow*

Dear Strong Bad,
Have you ever left town to go and see the sights?
Yours curiously,
A. Stevenson

[Strong Vader]

sight seeing

STRONG BAD: Let's see here...{changes wallpaper to be one of Strong Bad's basement wall design, then to be a brick wall, then to the Horrible Painting}

COMPE: Come on in here!

STRONG BAD: WAAGH! NO! {changes wallpaper to be the Strong Badian Flag, then clicks SBEmail icon} I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of E-mail.

Dear Strong Bad,
Have you ever left town to go and see the sights?
Yours curiously,
A. Stevenson

Yeah, Stevie, I have. It was really boring, and I think I talked about this before.

{cut to the postcard from "vacation"}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} I mean, this place doesn't even have any restaurants. All that's here is antique shops. I have a sneaking suspicion that the people here eat antiques.

{cut to a scene from "road trip"}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} And who could forget:

THE CHEAT: {inquiring The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: Keys? What keys?

THE CHEAT: {frustrated The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: Look, all I know is what Bubs told me. And he told me that the doors and windows are broken and you can't open 'em from the inside.

{cute to the Computer Room}

STRONG BAD: But yeah, Stevensonersongundermanface, I guess it HAS been a while since I've gone on a trip.

{static}

{Strong Bad and The Cheat are sitting in the Gremlin. The Cheat is in the driver's seat, and the car is moving}

STRONG BAD: So, The Cheat, I've got everything covered this time. I brought a pickaxe to break open the door when we get there, {pan left to see Strong Bad's pickaxe}, food {pan right to see a few bags of Potate and Chippies!}, and I got this car movin'.

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: Strong Mad? Oh, he's in the back. {pan to the rear to see Strong Mad pushing the car.}

STRONG MAD: REPLACE ENGINE OIL! NEED GAS!

STRONG BAD: Pull over over there, The Cheat! {the Gremlin turns and is next to Bubs' Concession Stand} Hey, Bubs!

BUBS: Hey, Strong Bad! What can I do for you today?

STRONG BAD: Whatcha got in the way of automotive fluid and fuel? For Strong Mad?

BUBS: I got these gallons of gasoline lying around. You want 'em?

STRONG BAD: Sure. {Strong Mad gulps down the gas. The Cheat's head explodes}

{scene changes to see the Gremlin driving down a road. There is a traffic jam.}

STRONG BAD: Traffic? Aw, this is just great!

{focus changes to Homestar in his "auto", trying to toss a coin into a collection box for a tollbooth. He tosses the coin into the air, trying to bounce it off the tollbooth into the box, but keeping missing. Instead of dropping the coin into the box, Homestar gets out of his car, gets the coin, and keeps trying to toss it into the box.}

STRONG BAD: Aw, come on! {pulls out bazooka} Di-a-loo-doo, Di-a-loo-doo, Di-a-loo-doo-DIE! {fires bazooka}

{cut to the Computer Room}

STRONG BAD: So you see, Treasure Island, that's why I'm not allowed to go out of town and see the sights anymore.

{Virtual Paper comes up}

Dear Mr. Bad,
This is your second-to-last warning. If you do not remit payment of Fourteen (14) Dollars and Fifty-Two (52) cents, you will be subjected to a Steal-Your-Compe-Style collection agency. Any effort to delete and/or block this e-mail or address will result in the immediate explosion and death of your Compe.
Your friend,
Bubs The Cheat Homestar Boss Tweed

[Uzi-Bazooka]

The following is not part of an E-mail: I have noticed that our E-mails do not have names like Strong Bad's do. Hencetoforthwith, put your E-mail's title at the top of your page, underlined in bold. Remember that sbemail titles have no capital letters
a decemberween song
(Strong Bad's desktop is of the drive thru whale.)
Compe (in its usual, suave voice generally reserved for sighing:) Sever your leg, please, sir...
Strong Bad: Contrary to popular belief, this E-mail is NOT the greatest day.

Dear Mr. Bad,
This is your second-to-last warning. If you do not remit payment of Fourteen (14) Dollars and Fifty-Two (52) cents, you will be subjected to a Steal-Your-Compe-Style collection agency. Any effort to delete and/or block this e-mail or address will result in the immediate explosion and death of your Compe.
Your friend,
Bubs The Cheat Homestar Boss Tweed

(Read as: Dear Mirperiod Bad, This is your second-to-last warning. If you do not remit payment of fourteen fourteen dollars and fifty-two fifty-two cents, you will be subjected to a steal-your-compe-style collection I'm not surprised that that guyagency. Any effort to delete and slasher-block this e-mail or address will result in the immediate explosion and death of your compe. Your fried end, [the following word is read very fast:] notbubsnotthecheatnotthatfatguybosstweed.)
Strong Bad: Wow. Kind of a ridiculously long name, Eh NBNTCNTFGBT? Yeesh. Almost as bad as Fhqwgads.
(clears screen.) Anyways EnnBeeEtcetera, you got the wrong guy. I haven't seen Mirperiod Bad in YEARS. And I'm not surprised that he hasn't payed his and not mine at all 14145252 cents. That guy was always a cheapskate. Like, I remember this one time, near Decemberween, when this total spin-off of a dumb book happened all because of him!
(Cut to a scene outside, where everything is covered in snow. Strong Sad is apparently wearing Homestar's newsboy getup from that one Halloween toon. It is too small, and it barely covers any of Strong Sad's body.)
Strong Sad: cough, cough. (Strong Bad, with a gray beard and a blue boxing mask instead of his usual red, holding a pipe, walks by.) Would you care to buy a dead flower?
Mirperiod Bad: Of course not, Fatty Tom! Nobody likes you! Skee-diddle! (Kicks Strong Sad)
Fatty Tom: Ahhhh! (Lands in a snowdrift, when he looks up, there appear to be several blurry Mirperiod Bads before his eyes) Go-od bless you, e-eh-every one!
Mirperiod Bad: Yeah, that's right, you little punk! Mirperiod Bad's so big, he's actually several Mirperiod Bads contained inside one Mirperiod BAG!
(cuts to wherever the crap Homestar has his hremails, except that all of the colors are gray and there are cobwebs everywhere. Mirperiod Bad is sitting at Homestar's desk, where there is no coffee cup, and Homestar (in his newsboy getup, which is ripped and missing several buttons, presumably thanks to Strong Sad) is sitting in front of a telegraph machine where Arturo usually sits. The telegraph machine is evidently called "the telething 1876", since it says that on the front. The paper coming out reads, "Dear Mr. Bad, dot dash dash dash dot dot dot polka dot dot dot dashing through the snow dot net it's dot com.")
Mirperiod Bad: Bob Crappit, have you finished reading that telemail yet?
Bob Crappit: Right away, sir! Ahem. Dear Strong Bad. small circle long rectangle long rectangle, long rectange small circle small circle, long rectangle-
Mirperiod Bad: Wrong again, dang Crappit! That's it, you're fired!
Bob Crappit: Waa... (Bob Crappit walks out the door and slams it behind him.)
Mirperiod Bad: good riddance! Any-a-ways, time for my nap!
(Mirperiod Bad lies back, and the scene immediately gets darker. Nothing else happens.)
Mirperiod Bad: Well, glad that's over. I wonder if there's something to eat in the kitchen. (Mirperiod walks to the kitchen, where a brown fridge sits, reading, "This Fridge does not have a name, stupid, even if it is an outdated electronic. Give it up, Herr Wiki!")
Bob Crappit (covered in white): Ooooh! OOOOOOH! SCARY NOOOOISES!
Mirperiod Bad: Ahh! Bob Crappit! Have you come to tell me that if I do not repent I will become a wretched ghost like you and have to wear style-cramping chains and that three ghosts will come and-
Bob Crappit: No, I just wanted to know where the sink was. I accidentally got covered in flour. Somehow. Accidentally.
Mirperiod Bad: Oh. Ok, then. It's down the hall.
(back at the compe, with Strong Bad:) So you see Longy Name? That's why these days, we always dump buckets of flour on Homestar's head, and then we shove him in the sink. And that story totally is not from some time when I thought it was cool to wear a fake beard and a blue mask and carry a pipe. That is somebody else entirely! For sure! Not me!
So I don't have to pay you any money!
Any-a-ways, I'm gonna take a nap now.
(Strong Bad leans back, and the scene again doesn't change except for getting darker.)
Virtual Paper (covered in flour, so that the words are almost completely white and hard to read, in the compe's voice:) Scary nooooises! Sigh.

[Strong Vader]

Hey, Luger Machete! No email? (tick, tick, tick)

Strong Bad,
We weren't kidding. If you do not make a payment of fifteen (15) dollars and thirty-four (34) cents and/or an oldest child to the Mafia, we will blow up your Compe. We have a mob with pitchforks and shotguns heading to your place right now.
Your bestest buddy in the whole wide world,
Bubs Boss Tweed

Simultaneously...

Dear Strong Bad,
Which one of you is the oldest?I forgot again. If Strong Sad is adopted, is he older than the rest of you? Is that why he's so depressed all the time?
Your buddy,
Homestar

[Uzi-Bazooka]

Sorry, Vader. You posted some stuff, but there's no sense in beating the same E-mail to death (the one with "Boss Tweed") and Strong Bad has that Homestar junk mail filter. Therefore, THIS is the E-mail that should be checked next:

Greetings Lord High Master Bad,
What do you think of those stupid smilies dumb weirdos put in their messages? Like this: :pirat:
or this:
Or even THIS:
Sincerely Yours Truly Crapfully Yours Your Friend Love,
Onionface.

[Strong Vader]

All right, all right.

smilies and spam

STRONG BAD: Strong-Bad-Underscore-Email-dot-click on icon.

Greetings Lord High Master Bad,
What do you think of those stupid smilies dumb weirdos put in their messages? Like this: :pirat:
or this:
Sincerely Yours Truly Crapfully Yours Your Friend Love,
Onionface.

{reads "Sincerely Yours Truly Crapfully Yours Your Friend Love, Onionface" as "Sincerely yours, something, bad joke, yadda, yadda, yadda, Onion-facey Hypocrite"}

Oh yeah, those things suck, man. It's not like a get five billion of THOSE every day. DELETED! Bwa ha ha!

{The Compe beeps with a new message alert. It's the same email}

What?!? You want me to answer this again? In more detail than that email deserved? Fine. So as you can see {pulls up Idiot Filter} several gross gross morons email me everyday. For example...

Hey
Can borrow 's fondue pot
Your friend,

That's the kinda thing that I get every frickin' second from Homestar. But he's easy to block. He doesn't even bother changing the subject in his spam, so everything has the subject, "Can borrow 's fondue pot?" For example:

Dear ,
How do type with boxing gloves on
Your buddy,

He doesn't ever create another e-mail account, so everything comes through djmankiewicz@homestarrunner.com. Strong Sad, on the other hand...

From: depressio13249@homestarrunner.com
,
You forgot to pick me up from the bus station...three months ago. I just managed to get to the library, where I got to type out this message to you.
Sincerely,

You might not think that's annoying, but what bugs me is that he keeps changing e-mail addresses and computers, so I can't keep blocking him. And I get fifty of those each day!

For example:

depressio11121@homestarrunner.com You forgot to pick me up
depressio89342@homestarrunner.com You need to pick me up
strong sad2323@homestarrunner.com You forgot to pick me up several weeks ago
sloshyfan39572@homestarrunner.com You forgot to pick me up two months ago

Now, on to fan mail. Now, there's this type of message:

HEY
i luvv u so much
luv,
hommstar gr8 lookn grrrrrrrl

These I have to have shot on sight. Well, I hope that answers your question, Garlicbreath.

{Virtual Paper comes up}.

Dear Strong Bad,
We has some gooder question.
1. Have sometime ever played basketball. Is you good at it?
2. How do you think you thinks to be eating as a baby?
3. Has you thought sometimes about selling on auction that is online? Will you thinks about it?
Your friend,
Viklas Jr.
Sweden

[Uzi-Bazooka]

yah three sometime gooder question guys
Strong Bad: Have you ever noticed how E-mail is like Emil with out the "a" or the dash? Just asking...

Dear Strong Bad,
We has some gooder question.
1. Have sometime ever played basketball. Is you good at it?
2. How do you think you thinks to be eating as a baby?
3. Has you thought sometimes about selling on auction that is online? Will you thinks about it?
Your friend,
Viklas Jr.
Sweden

(Read exactly as it looks like. Strong Bad stumbles over the second question, and eventually just says, "whatever." and moves on. The name is read, "Viking Lass Jeremiah, from Sweatin'")
Strong Bad: This E-mail is starting to ask for a "Deleted". I guess I'll try to answer it, though. (clears screen)
Your first question apparently has something to do with basketball. Well, 'round here, we don't really play basketball. We did once play "kick the Pom Pom", but then he posted a trilogy of humorous online videos about how we had broken his stuff, and they became such a big hit that we had to make, like, a million public apologies on different websites.
Your second question has something to do with babies and eating. We do not eat babies.
(cuts to a scene of the King of Town, with a covered silver platter.)
King of Town: aww...
(back to computer room)
Strong Bad: your third question is seemingly asking me to sell something on an online auction. I already tried that, and guess what, it turns out slavery is illegal! Can you believe that! And he was ASKING for it!
Anyways, now I guess I have to translate this reply into something you can understand Viking Lass. Here goes!

Ya first question might has something with basketball. Well, here, not basketball. We once play "kick the Pom ", but then he trilogy of humor like, a million.
Ya second question done has do babies eating. Not eat babies.
(cuts to a scene of the King of Town, with a covered silver platter.)
King of Town: furgenfish...
(back to computer room)
Strong Bad: ya three question is seem me to sell something an online auction. I try that, and what slavery is illegal! Can understand! And was ASK for something!
(Virtual paper comes up, reading "ya guys, click someplace to E-mile String Bear!")
Easter Eggs:
Click on, "And was ASK" for a scene with Senor Cardgage:
Senor Cardgage: Now we're boiling MY lang age!

Click on "ya three" for a scene with taranchula:
Schenkel McDoo (in TV commercial): Ya, three, maybe find some coin!

Click on "illegal" to see part of Pom Pom's video:
(Pom Pom make bubbling noises to the tune of "United Breaks Guitars" while, in the background, The Cheat in a Strong Bad mask jumping up and down on a box marked "Pom Pom's awesome stuff.")

[Uzi-Bazooka]

My E-mail:
Dear Incredible Bad,
I wish to make a popular blog, one that will be read by millions, or at least severals, of other people. Can you give some advice?
Sincerely,
Dr. Strangelove, The War Room
PS: Stop worrying and love the bomb.

[These are my saturdays]

blog

[Typing strongbad_email.exe]
STRONG BAD: Sometimes I believe email was made for me, and since yesterday, I's been believing it even more.
[Reads screen]
______________________

Dear Incredible Bad,
I wish to make a popular blog, one that will be read by millions, or at least severals, of other people. Can you give some advice?
Sincerely,
Dr. Strangelove, The War Room
PS: Stop worrying and love the bomb.

______________________
[Typing]
Oh, don't worry about me loving the bomb Dr. Strange, I's been loving it more than I's been loving saying "I's"
[Clears screen]
Anyways, your dumb blog. I's never had a blog, Steven, but Pom Pom has had more than a coevral, like his "Blog" blog, his "Pom" blog, that "Sing-Along" Blog. (click on Sing-Along to see a poster for " Dr. Pom Pom's Sing-Along-Blog".) Yeah, and news is Homestar's got a blog called "Blog," which I'm pretty sure is just him rambling about his blog.
[cut to Homestar on the Compintosh]
[Typing]
...And that's like a blog for a blog's blog! So wemember to go to my blog. Keep it bloggy evewyone. Plus...
[Cut to static, then Strong Bad at the computer]
[typing]
Even Homsar has a blog! but I'm not cutting to that. But if I have to give you one piece of good advice, it's this; DON'T MAKE A BLOG! because Email shows are about two half times better than a blog. But I have a feeling that not really answering your question is going to warrant a lot of protest emails from you...yadda yadda....HUTTAH!!
[Strong Bad pops offscreen, paper goes down]


My email:
Dear Song Bad,

If you had unilimeited money to spend on making or buying a guitar, what would the guitar be like?

Your Face,
Your Face

[Thy Dungeon Master]

(to the Pearl and Dean music) Da da, da da, da da, da da, da da da, da da, da da, da da, da Deeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaar... Strong Bad

Dear Song Bad,

Which is spelt with a TR.

If you had unilimeiayted money to spend on making or buying a guitar, what would the guitar be like?

Your Face,
Your Face

Sorry, but you are clearly not my face. For one, my face is too awesome. So, um... I'm just gonna call you James from now on. Also, you're from New Jersey.

Well, James from New Jersey, if I had unlimayted money to spend on a guitar, it would definaytely be the most awesome gutiar you've ever seen.

(speaking over illustration) It would be in the shape of a big flame, and it would have fire comin' outta some exhaust fumes and a pointless-built-in-bum-note-improver-that'll-never-be-useful-cause-I'm-so-good-at-playing-the-guitar and a digital signature of any classic guitarist you feel like.

(still the illustration)Aww yeah. And it would make such a great sound, you won't be able to hear it over the screams of several thousand girls in the auience.(the stage SB is playing on collapses from fire damage)

So that's what my guitar will be like, Jimmy. It'll be the most awesome guitar ever AND all the girls from the audience who survived will get rich from selling their tickets to the concert that Strong Bad died on stage at in a couple years.

(done typing) Okay, so until next week, send me an unlimaytedly ridiculous amount of good emails please, I could use some of those.

*preeow*

Dear Strong Bad,
What do you think about motor racing? Have you ever tried it?

Past yours in one second,
A. Stevenson

[Strong Vader]

Aww, crap. Bested again by my non-nemesis. My idea, as below.

guitars 2

STRONG BAD: Strong Bad Emails, rock rock on!

Dear Song Bad,

If you had unilimeited money to spend on making or buying a guitar, what would the guitar be like?

Your Face,
Your Face

{reads "unilimeited" as "un-il-im-ay-ited"}

Oh man, they forgot this {types Awesome Strong Bad after deleting "Song Bad"} and they totally forgot this {deletes "Your Face" and types "Your Face Is Awesome}

So, a guitar, eh, I'm Awesome? Well, first, it would have its own built-in amp, and so it would have like a whole ton of batteries. But it would be totally worth it to see the look on Gron Sad's face when he gets sonically assaulted right before getting physically assaulted.

{cut to Strong Sad's room, where Strong Bad has a guitar.}

STRONG BAD: TROGDOORRR! TROGDOORRR! {Strong Sad's room's walls begin collapsing, and Strong Sad faints}

{cut to the Computer Room}

STRONG BAD: And it would have awesome lazor guns. That way, I can sonically as well as physically assault people at the same time.

{cut to Club Technochocolate. Strong Bad has a guitar with a steel cylinder-style object glued to the neck}

STRONG BAD: HEART OF A LION, AND {lasers begin firing to the left and right as Strong Bad starts dancing around like an idiot} WINGS OF A BAT! {the electricity goes out, as in Young Einstein} The power of rock compels you! Guys?

{Marzipan's hair is burning, and somehow, the Cheat's head explodes.}

{cut to the Computer Room}

STRONG BAD: I tried building one o' dems once, but, uh, after I got halfway done with it, it was illegal. Apparently, the King of Town doesn't take one hundred and fifty megabels of "Trogdor" at two AM very well. I forgot to add the lazors BEFORE playing, so the PooperTroopers managed to take me down. So, I had to settle for buying one. And assuming this is my imagination...{a puffy white cloud border appears}

{cut to Bubs' Concession Stand}

STRONG BAD: Hey, Bubs. Whatcha got in the way of expensive and valuable guitars?

BUBS: Well, we got this pre-owned box of chicken beaks.

STRONG BAD: No thanks, Bubs. I was kinda looking for something less anthraxy.

BUBS: Well, let's see here...you could try this one. {pulls out a regular, flying vee guitar with a bucket and a bullhorn attached to it}

STRONG BAD: Well, Bubs, I was thinking more of the tropical lazor beam persuasion.

BUBS: How about this one? {pulls out a pineapple shaped guitar with lasers shooting out of it}

STRONG BAD: Bubs, licensed guitars are never good. That's just a cheap knockoff guitar made by those Gel-Arshie people.

BUBS: Crabbadonk. How about this one? {pulls out a guitar}

STRONG BAD: Whoa! A Flying Vee that's been signed by all of the members of Limozeen and Taranchula! I'll take it! I'll take twelve!

BUBS: Ok, just wait a minute while I go around back and totally not forge the signatures of Limozeen and Taranchula on to eleven guitars.

STRONG BAD: All right! And because this is my imagination, and not real life, can I have these for free?

BUBS: Crabbadonk!

{cut to the Computer Room}

STRONG BAD: Let's see if this thing can shred some hot lix. {Strong Sad walks in, carrying a guitar that looks just like Strong Bad's} What the crap?

STRONG SAD: Hey, Strong Bad, Bubs gave me this sloshy-signed guitar for free!

STRONG BAD: Wait, these eleven guitars and your sloshy guitar are signed with the exact same handwriting! This thing is worthless! {smashes one of the eleven (ahem) Limozeen guitars over Strong Sad's head. The Cheat walks in and sets Strong Sad's sloshy guitar on fire.}

So that, my dear Face, is why you should never buy a guitar from Bubs.

The e-mail:
Dear Strong Bad,
Did you ever make a musical? Why don't you make one, about anything, like your awesomeness, or your beating up of the Dragon named Strong Sad. Think about it.
Your pal,
Friedrich von Trapp

The REAL e-mail for someone else to answer:

Dear Strong Bad,
What do you think about motor racing? Have you ever tried it?

Past yours in one second,
A. Stevenson

[Uzi-Bazooka]

motor racing

Strong Bad: I'm not gonna write you an E-mail 'cuz you need one, 'cuz you ask me...yeah, worst song ever.
(the compe's desktop is a photo of the 1936 characters: )

Dear Strong Bad,
What do you think about motor racing? Have you ever tried it?

Past yours in one second,
A. Stevenson

(after reading "past yours in one second", Strong Bad looks around. When he sees that nothing is happening, he shrugs and turns back to his computer. While he is looking away, The Cheat in a tire from Awexome Cross speeds past. Strong Bad fails to notice and reads the name as "Just another friggin' Stevenson.")
Strong Bad: Motor Racing, huh? Can't say I've ever heard of it. It could be fun, though. Let's try it out!
(cut to wherever the bumbling mascot race around the field took place)
The Announcer: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, for Free Country U of the S of the A's first ever Smoking Hot Motor Race to the End of the Race. All right, gentlemen, you know the rules. One...two...three...go!
(cuts to a scene of two race car engines, sitting lonely on the ground. The announcer is not visible, but he can be heard.)
The Announcer: And the Bubsomatic 5000 is going strong, followed closely behind by-yeah, neither engine is ever going to move. That's it, folks.
(cut back to the computer room)
Strong Bad: Boring! That's nowhere NEAR as cool as our last race car race car race car race car race car race!
I remember it like it was yesteryear!
(back to the field, where the engines have been replaced with Strong Bad and the Cheat in the Proud Anselmo [which has been scratched out and renamed the "Proud racecarselmo"] and Bubs in the Gremlin.)
The Announcer: Ladies and gentlmen, nothing has happened for ten minutes now!
Strong Bad: man, so cool!
(paper comes up.)

Dear Strong Bad,
When is Dangeresque 4 coming out?
Your semi-biggest semi-fan,
Semi-George

[Strong Vader]

dangeresque 4
STRONG BAD: I'm checkin' an e-mail on the Compe, the Compe, the Comp-re-comp-the-comp Compe!

Dear Strong Bad,
When is Dangeresque 4 coming out?
Your semi-biggest semi-fan,
Semi-George

Well, you're semi (I mean really) crappy e-mail has intrigued me enough to semi-indulge in answering your question. I shall, therefore, skip every other word as I semi-answer this e-mail.

So, ______, I _____ like __ to ____ Dangeresque _, but ____ of ___ cast ____ to __ another ____.

Yeah, me neither.

So, Dangeresque 4, eh, Georgie? That would entail actually going over to Marzipan's, beg her to do it on bended knee, give her a hundred dollars, and clean up the toilet paper and eggs that I threw. Three days hours minutes ago.

Then I'd have to promise to rescue Renaldo in a scene that I would have to retcon, and probably kill him off in the fourth film.

Dangeresque Too...I'd have to blow a few bucks on some Fluffy Puff Marshmallows and some Melonade.

So it's abundantly clear that Dangeresque 4 is dead, and will never be resurrected. Instead, I give you: Dangeresque 0: The Film That Came Before Dangeresque 1: Dangeresque, Too?

{cut to a Parisian cafe, where Dangeresque and Sultry Buttons are having a candlelit dinner. Dangeresque pulls out a VCR and holds it up to his face like a phone}

DANGERESQUE: Yeah, ok. I'll be there soon.

SULTRY BUTTONS: What is it?

DANGERESQUE: The Chief wants me back at the office. I gotta save a schoolbus...um...full...of...um...school...children.

SULTRY: Will I ever see you again? Will we ever save the whales and dolphins together? How much am I getting paid to say-{static}

DANGERESQUE: Keep this {takes out the photograph of them standing in front of the "Eiffel Tower"} next to your heart. I'll be back, don't you worry. {snickers}

{cut to a title card for Dangeresque 0: The Film That Came Before Dangeresque 1: Dangeresque: Too? Strong Bad sings the title music.}

{the title card is pulled away to reveal Dangeresque standing in The Smoky Office on the phone.}

DANGERESQUE: All right, The Chief, I'll find that missing document. Don't you worry about it. {the door opens} Who the crap are you?

RENALDO: Well, I'm Renaldo, your new partner. The Chief said to keep an eye on you so you could find that docurment.

DANGERESQUE: I work alone! Except when I work by myself. Which is all the time! So, you got some information for me?

RENALDO: It was last seen with Perducci at the border. If he steals it, then he can kidnap Cutesy Buttons! {static} Take over the world!

DANGERESQUE: Perducci, eh? We gotta get that piece of paper from him before he can take over the world.

{cut to the Stone Bridge, which has The Cheat with a sign that says, "Teh Border"}

DANGERSQUE: Perducci's got to be near the border somewhere.

RENALDO: Why don't we ask this total unsuspicious-style totally non-villain passers-guy. {pan right to reveal Baron Darin Diamonocle}

DANGERESQUE: Whaddaya know about Perducci? Fess up, or prepare to meet my two best friends, Nun and Chuck! {waves nunchuck gun around menacingly}

DIAMONOCLE: Hey, Dangeresque. I hear he went over that way {points}. Anyway, I'll give you five bucks if you eat this bag of ranch-flavored chips-I mean, white-flavored pieces of cardboard.

DANGERSQUE: All right, monocle-man, but I'm warning you, you'd better not be wrong. {eats "chips", then pukes} Looks like my stomach's gotta jump!

RENALDO: What's wrong? You okay, Dangeresque?

DANGERESQUE: Diamonocle, my name is Dangeresque. You killed my digestive tract. Prepare to die.

PERDUCCI: {walks in with Killingyouguy} Aha! I see you have fallen for my cleverly laid trap! You'll never be able to get this! {waves around a piece of paper that says: THe DOCuMEnT-Important: Do not steal!} Now I'll take over the world and kidnap Cutesy Buttons!

DANGERESQUE: Wait, who is this "Cutesy Buttons" you speak of?

PERDUCCI: The one who professes to be able to save the world and all its rainforest inhabitants!

DANGERSQUE: Hey, um...LOOK BEHIND YOU! A MONSTER MADE OF PASTA!

PERDUCCI: Huh? What? {Dangersque steals the document} Hey! Killingyouguy! Finish him!

KILLINGYOUGUY: I'M THE MINION! {runs towards Dangeresque}

RENALDO: I'll take him! {beats up "Killingyouguy" (Strong Sad as stunt double)}

{Homestar walks by with Homsar, who has a bonnet on}

HOMESTAR: {poorly acting} See, Grandma? That's the shady cop that I want to be partners with some day and hopefully get my own pair of cool shades.

HOMSAR: DaAaAaAaAaAH! Don't sell the funk shares on a doggy peach, Sinbag!

DANGERESQUE: Forget it! I work alone! Except when I work with...Renaldo...I guess you're ok after all.

{End credits play with "Today is Alright 4 2Nite"}

Easter Eggs:
Click on "toilet paper and eggs" to see "Green Eggs and Toilet Paper" by "Nutty Prof. Sportsinterviews", and click on it again to see a page with Marzipan saying: "I don't like green eggs and toilet paper, Strong Bad-I-Am."

Click on the right-most lens of Dangeresque's shades at the end to see Strong Sad at the Review Revue:
STRONG SAD: The film, Dangeresque 0: The Film That Came Before Dangeresque One: Dangeresque, Too? has an overly long title and a simple plot, with more simplistic dialogue, and has the crushing blow of having the absence of viewer-favorite "Strong Sad" as the "Informer". Dangersque 0 misses the mark!

Dear Strong Bad,
Did you ever make a musical? Why don't you make one, about anything, like your awesomeness, or your beating up of the Dragon named Strong Sad. Think about it.
Your pal,
Friedrich von Trapp

[The Wheelchair]

[u]musical[b][u]

[b]STRONG BAD: {singing} What's goin' down in sbemail town? What's goin' down in sbemail town?

Dear Strong Bad,
Did you ever make a musical? Why don't you make one, about anything, like your awesomeness, or your beating up of the Dragon named Strong Sad. Think about it.
Your pal,
Friedrich von Trapp

{reads "Strong Sad" as Dumpface, and "Friedrich von Trapp" as Fried Witch, von trap.}

STRONG BAD: Of course I made a musical! In fact, it's based upon my personal favorite sbemail..... the basics! Take a looksee.

{cut to the stage. Strong Bad is sitting on stage in front of his computer desk. On top of the desk is the Corpy NT6. Green lines similar to those of the Tandy have been painted across it's screen.}

STRONG BAD: {singing to the tune of the Homestar Runner intro} Everybody...check your email... {types sbemail.exe and pulls up the following e-mail}

Dear strong bad,

how do you do it . teach me some of your trick's.

With crap,
T.J.

STRONG BAD: {singing} Ooooohhh...
Dear, Strong Bad
Hooow-ow do you do it?
Teach me all your tricks,
from some stupid prick!

Well-ell-ell T.J., my tricks are as follows,
but they may be hard to swallow! Swallow! Swallow! Swallow!

"Hey, are listening"
says some stupid friend.
Of course you aren't,
but if you're smart,
you'll say, "Yes I am!

Then if they're annoying,
have them look away,
pour some coke all over that bloke!
You'll be laughing all day!

{cut to a wide shot of the stage. Ropes lower Cardboard Marzipan down to the stage}

STRONG BAD: {stands up} Oooh, hello Marzipan.

CARDBOARD MARZIPAN: Hey Strong Bad, let's make out.

{music plays, a spotlight goes over to Strong Bad.}

STRONG BAD: {singing} Alllllllll riiiiiiiiiighttttt!

{curtains close}

KING OF TOWN: {offscreen} Boooooo!

{cut back to the Compé}

STRONG BAD: So as you can see, I stayed pretty true to the original. Come to think of it, did I charge any of you guys for watching that? 'Cause I should have. That was a top dollar performance right there!

{The Compé-per appears}

Easter Eggs:
Click on Friedrich von Trapp after Strong Bad reads the name to see a Beverly Sportsinterviews book titled "Fried Witch, von trap."

Click on top dollar performance at the end to see an extra scene at the stage.
{Strong Bad and Cardboard Marzipan are standing facing the audience. Strong Bad bows. After a moment, Cardboard Marzipan falls over.}

Dear SB Awesome,
Coach Z has a serious drinking problem. I think you and the other Free Country, USA residents need to give him an intervention.
Cleanfully,
Wheelie.

[Kinda Long Hair]

Intervention

Strong Bad: {to the trogdor variation in Peasents Quest} Duh duh duh duh daaaaa. Email Email. Duh duh duh duh duh. email email.

{brings up the email}

Dear SB Awesome,
Coach Z has a serious drinking problem. I think you and the other Free Country, USA residents need to give him an intervention.
Cleanfully,
Wheelie.

Strong Bad: {typing} Well Mr. Wheel. I'm not really sure what you mean about his drinking pormblem. I mean... I haven't ever seen him touch a cold one. {clears screen}

{zoom out to show the computer and half of the "No Loafing" sign. Strong Bad turns to his left.}

Strong Bad: Hey Strong Sad! Whats this with someone saying that Coach Z has a drinking porblem!?

Strong Sad: {off screen} Wait, you didn't know! {walks in from the right. He has a burlap sack and some rope. Strong Bad is still looking to the left}

Strong Bad: Well no, I didn't!

Strong Sad: Strong Bad...

Strong Bad: {abruptly} WAH! {turn to left} What was the meaning of that, eleph-ants jerald? And why do you have that burlap sack?

Strong Sad: I've started gathering our materials! We strike at midnite! {walks away}

{the screen slowly starts to fade out}

Strong Bad: {quietly} I don't even know how that happened

{The screen has completly faded out by now. Fade back into the outside of the locker room. It is dark out. Strong Bad, the cheat, Strong Sad, and Homestar walk in from the left. SB and TC have on their Ghostbusters shirts, Strong Sad has on a black "Corporate Geddup noise sucks" shirt, and homestar has on his normal shirt.}

Strong Bad: {quietly} All right, let us begin! Homestar, you're up first!

Homestar: Comin' up!

{cut to inside the locker room. Coach Z is asleep on a bench. A listerine bottle is sitting next to him on the floor. Homestar walks in}

Homestar: {yeling} HEY COACH! i'M READY TO START TRAINING FOR THE NEXT RACE TO THE END OF THE RACE!

Coach Z: {abruptly, waking up} Oh jeez! Homestar, talk to me in the morning!

{cut back to outside. SB and SS are listening to the stuff thats happening}

Strong Bad: Okay, wierdie, you're up.

Strong Sad: Do I really have to do it?

Strong Bad: Yes, we'd never get Marzipan to do it, and your the closest thing we have to a girl!

Strong Sad: Oh, that is true.. {in Marzipan's voice} Coach Z, Marzipan is outside wanting to talk to you!

Coach Z: {walking out} Okay!

{strong Sad and Strong Bad shove his head ito the burlap sack and tie it shut.}

Strong Bad: All right the cheat, let 'er rip!

The Cheat: [meh]

{show the locker room door. The Cheat runs in and runs out with a bag of listerine.}

Strong Bad: All right! We got it!

{cut back to the computer room}

Strong Bad: {typing} Well wheelie, We did exactly what you said. We took away Coach Z's listerine! You know, it's been gone for two weesk and he doesn't seem to notice. Oh well, see you next week!

{Com-péper comes up}


You got easter egg ideas? PM me!


My sbemail:

Dearest Strong Bad,
Why does Bubs sell all that shady crap?
yours
Jhonston

[Strong Vader]

dangerous crap

STRONG BAD: Will everyone please rise for the presentation of our national email...{the Compe has a Dangeresque Roomisode wallpaper}

Dearest Strong Bad,
Why does Bubs sell all that shady crap?
yours
Jhonston

Well, Jhonston, I likes the cut of your jib. And the cut of your name. Jhonston. It's like some Dangeresque game and Peasant's Quest thing, all rolled up in one! Jhonston III: The Quest for the Brainblow City Emerald Chalice!

I don't know, Jhon-stan. Why don't we go ask him?

{cut to the Concession Stand}

BUBS: Hey, Strong Bad! What can I do for you this fine afternoon?

STRONG BAD: Hey, Bubs. So, some viewer emailed in and wanted to know why you sell dangerous crap. I normally wouldn't ask you this, but he had a real cool name.

BUBS: Why don't you come on over to my showroom?

{cut to the Movie Theater}

{a movie is showing}

ANNOUNCER: Bubs' Concession Stand presents a Bubs' Concession Stand production: a Bubs' Concession Stand Indoctrination Film: Bubs' Concession Stand Employee Film Numbro 7: Why Do We Make Dangerous Crap? (music starts playing) You see this gentleman over here?

{screen shows Strong Bad's Computer Room}

STRONG BAD:

Dearest Strong Bad,
Why does Bubs sell all that shady crap?
yours
Jhonston

{scene pauses}

ANNOUNCER: Now, what is wrong with this picture? Answer? This fellow is NOT making money for the Bubs' Concession Stand Corporation! So, with some subliminal advertising {screen shows the starfish sign from Battle of the Bands}

STRONG BAD: Eat at Bubs. Do I have to?

{screen shows Bubs' spam}

ANNOUNCER: Some more subliminal advertising, and some heh heh, unpleasant business tactics. (Hot time! said Bubs) So how do we accomplish these goals? We aim this ray at everyone in town (a ray-type thing is pointed at FCUSA. The camera zooms in to reveal that it is a cardboard box covered with duct tape with paper towel rolls attached to it) and people will come in by the dozen. (Stand in Line: $5)

Which begs the question: Why do we make dangerous crap? More on that later.

{static}

{cut to the Computer Room}

STRONG BAD: Ugggh. I think I need to take a shower. {clears screen}

So, Johnson, to answer your question, Bubs runs a black market because he's the only guy in town. With a Hammerspace factory.

Click on Jhonston III to see the box art for the game.

This email probably needed some work, but this topic was...undernourished.

Dear Strong Bad,
Does CGNU have a school spirit week? Our school does, but it has lame things like "neon day" and "polyester day" and "Disney day." I bet CGNU has awesome spirit day stuff.
Your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate,
Strong Vader

[Uzi-Bazooka]

school spirit

Strong Bad: What happens when you take a bunch of crap, and put it in slo-mo? What happens? Time sbemail!

Dear Strong Bad,
Does CGNU have a school spirit week? Our school does, but it has lame things like "neon day" and "polyester day" and "Disney day." I bet CGNU has awesome spirit day stuff.
Your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate,
Strong Vader

(Reads "Dear Strong Bad" as "The Same As Always," and "Your father's brother's etc." as "The Doctor Was His Mother!")

Strong Bad: Well, Doctor Vader, what kind of cracked-up school are you going to? POLYESTER day? Seriously?
No, CGNU CERTAINLY doesn't have nonna that crap going on. Unfortunately, we are required by the Un-cool District to have all student council members pick one type of day. So...you can't blame me when it sucks.
(cuts to the hallways of CGNU, where people (Homestar, Homsar, Strong Sad, and Pom Pom) are walking along.)

Strong Bad (not seen, but heard): Bubs' spirit day is "Anything you bought from Bub's Conveniently Located Concession Stand day."
(the scene changes so that Homestar is wearing the Bubs' apron from costume commercial, as is Strong Sad and Pom Pom. Homsar is now wearing several chick'n beaks glued to his body.)
Homestar: Nice apron, Homsar!
Homsar: Onsoooooon.
Strong Bad: Marzipan came up with the so-nasty "wheat grass skirt day."
(the scene changes so that all the students except Homsar are wearing grass skirts. Homsar is simply floating over a field of grass, which follows him wherever he goes.)
Homestar: Hey, Pom Pom, I like your Blue Avenger costume!
Strong Bad: Next up is Coach Z's ...jibblie... shirtless spirit day.
(Now, Homestar is all blurred like he is whenever he's naked, Pom Pom is also blurred, but his is yellow, Strong Sad looks no different that usual, and Homsar's hat has become a shark fin.)
Homestar: A-we got spirit!
Strong Bad: Thursday is Strong Mad's "STUFF...F" spirit day.
(Everyone is dressed as normal, except Homsar, who is wearing a grass skirt.)
Homestar: The most creative day since Polyester Day!
Strong Bad: Finally, on Friday, they let me choose. So Friday is all-around, one-hundred-percent DRESS UP YOUR FAVORITE VIDEO GAME CHARACTER DAY!
(Strong Sad is dressed up like a math equation, Pom Pom is some cool game with guns--he looks like a Marine, Homsar is that big fat chicken from Stinkoman 20X6, and Homestar is Rather Dashing.)
Homestar: Hey, Strong Sad, I like your-
Strong Bad: Shut up! Just...just shut up. For real! (Back at the compe), well Dr. Polyester, I guess that answers your question. Strong Sad likes rabbit algebra.

Diggeridoo, String Beard!
What is your favorite video game?
From,
Grabbidydonkleson.

Not the best E-mail, but I has not time!

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